So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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