she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
