so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize