I want to make a zoo with you.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
