I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
