the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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