hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Randomize
