i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
