Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
