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Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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