He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Blood and glitter go together right?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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