this beer tastes like vomit already
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
