if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
