We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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