Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
