so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
