3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
