physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
