do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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