i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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