She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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