you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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