did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
