I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
