Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm too high and old for this...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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