he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
