I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
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