Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
