I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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