So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
