Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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