How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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