god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
