Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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