somebody snuck up and got me drunk
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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