Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize