every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Drake has all the answers
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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