Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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