Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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