i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
