so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
