i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
