So drunk its hurt
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there was a trapeze. enough said
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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