Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
