The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
