I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
