wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
