Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
