Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
