Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
