Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
