Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
